April 6, 2024
if nobody got me i know the lady at the asian market that gives out complimentary candy got me can i get an amen
March 30, 2024
the injections didnt work :(
March 22, 2024
had 10 trigger point injections. they didnt hurt too bad and i couldnt focus on the pain cuz the doc was talking abt naruto with me so thats where my brain power was going. currently a lil sore and numb but thats about it for now. have to wait a few days
March 21, 2024
injections tomorrow! im very nervous but excited at the same time. im trying to keep my hopes low and realistic but if this helps with some of my pain, even if it is just upper body, it would be AMAZING. like i could maybe join a gamaiie jam again or get back to drawing consistently!! eurghh... fingers crossed
March 12, 2024
aaa im so happy! i was able to nab a keffiyah from hirbawi when they restocked earlier!!! :D
March 9, 2024
i'm in and out recently since my new meds keep clonkin' me out;; on the other end, i'm super nervous/excited to get trigger point injections on the 22nd! the doctor there thinks i might have fibromyalgia. idk what that is really but that sounds like a step forward... ^_^
March 4, 2024
my dog is wearing a cone and now he looks like a lamp
March 1, 2024
the bara trope of older man (rocky relationship with ex-wife) (father of one or perhaps two) feeling undesirable or past his prime but then gets into a relationship with a guy who thinks he's cool, hot, amazing, etc. so he ends up being flustered and out of his element <- i think i hauve Covid
February 15, 2024
my japanese lessons are going okay i keep fucking up stroke order with kanji but it'll probably be fine since i dont handwrite stuff unless i have to? hm. also maybe my next project should be redoing my site (again) ack sorry im so indecisive xD
February 12, 2024
i've been very unproductive lately i need to pick up a project or smth :3c
February 6, 2024
i forgot how fun pixel art can be and i dont even need to use a tablet i can just use my mouse so its nice on the wrist
February 5, 2024
my psychiatrist is actively feeding into my complex or whatever that i'm a freeloading loser because i keep getting denied disability and can't work and still live with my parents. she said something about how i'm still like a kid because my parents take care of me and buy me things. even when i actively told her that i dont ask for muchif anythingbecause i already have a roof over my head and they pay my medical copays and buy groceries. but no. now i have to feel shitty for needing a new phone when i've had to replace my iphone 7 screen by myself twice already and it can only slowly run 3 apps and most sites dont work on that version of safari anymore. im gonna rip my hair out
January 18, 2024
health stuffs but!! a few days ago i had an hour long massive back-to-back nosebleed like never before? i used to have them bad when i was a kid but never so bad that it restarted within a minute of stopping and made the bathroom sink + toilet look like a murder scene. it was so bad i woke my mom up to stay with me for a while because i got lightheaded and dizzy towards the end and was worried i'd collapse. since then, i feel like i'm more lightheaded than usual? i already deal with brain fog and chronic fatigue normally, i'm just a little worried about it right after the nosebleed... i hate doctors so i don't want to bring it up but if i don't feel a little better by, like, tuesday, i'll call... ough;;
January 16, 2024
i know i've already wrote a multi-paragraph rant somewhere on how i feel a huge disconnect to online ace/aro spaces but i feel that way too with a lot of the transmascs i've talked to. like where i feel that it should be a no-brainer for asexuals to at the very least be willing to pursue a healthy relationship and mindset regarding sex and sex-positivity, it should also be a no-brainer for transmascs to hold feminist values and understand that their perspective of toxic masculinity and misogyny is a uniquity they have over cis men. And Yet...
January 15, 2024
maybe it says something about me that i keep somehow finding new things to get into where handsome men beat the shit out of eachother? anyways hey im actually picking up yakuza for real this time
January 12, 2024
i forgot about this for a while oops hi hello
December 26, 2023
JUST BEAT GHOST TRICK it was soooo good?? i'll jump the gun and even say easily one of my favorite games ever
December 25, 2023
my apologies for having left you on a cliffhanger, heres the answer: the squirterrrrrrrrrr
December 18, 2023
what role does the skeleton play in the ecosystem
December 16, 2023
trying to wrap my head around the fact that i'm autistic... my therapist is helping me get over my hesitance for self-diagnosis and i love her and she's right but it still feels like, i dunno, 'faking' or something even though she agrees it wouldn't be the best idea to get medically diagnosed. i really thought i was over my stupid childhood 'something is wrong with me but unless a doctor gives me a diagnosis i must be lying' thing especially given how doctors treat me for my disability and BMI but i guess not? fuck
December 15, 2023
that person i was talking to that i thought was cool ended up being a passive-aggressive asshole. SAD. well theres other guys!
December 14, 2023
NOT saying i need a boyfriend but. sitting dreamily on a fat hairy guy's lap while he talks about bloodborne or him sitting dreamily on mine while i talk about early youtube poops would fix me rn
December 13, 2023
pokemon named tumblypoo. evolution named tumblrina. is THAT anything...
December 11, 2023
i need a jumper cable emoji. i need a car battery emoji.
December 8, 2023
she neo on my cities til i org. is that anything
December 7, 2023
been chatting with this person and they are so cool so far but also. remembers when my therapist told me i view socializing + relationships seems to her like a big flag for me being on the spectrum
December 2, 2023
i bought some nice memory foam or whatever pillows that should be here soon. hopefully i'll sleep better idk hehe
November 26, 2023
i've been trying out ffxiv cuz my friend really really likes it. i want to eat a moogle so bad
November 22, 2023
to the guy on gaia online that private messaged me just to give me a really low offer on something i alreay had up for sale... you're lucky im a sucker and really respect when people ask for what they want!!! take ur item and git >:3
November 20, 2023
im so big and full of css yum
November 18, 2023
NEED to start picking up longer lets play videos again. specifically I've been missing watching JazzyGuns for 40 hours a week </3 but most of her newer stuff is just stream VODs. sigh. i might pick up an older series of hers tho like bully or danganronpa or something
November 17, 2023
kishimoto is really bad at writing women like people but the way people talk about women in narutoor any media since misogyny runs rampant when people realize they can think up any man as gayis fucking vile. i hope it's not as bad anymore but i'm looking at older stuff from like 2008 and every other post i get hit with shit like 'godddd i hate her she's so annoying'. uhm. i hate your fucking guts and think you should be hit by a speeding car or quartered or dipped in tar and feathered etcetera etcetera yknow
November 16, 2023
i'm in a lot of pain today and no intensity on my TENS machine or combination of pain meds and rest is helping. THEN for some reason my brain keeps reminding me of bad memories no matter how much i try to hit it with the 'locking myself onto my past is not helpful for growth. i've since learned and changed for the better as a person and relatively like where i'm going with my life' stuff it keeps coming back with 'erm. well yeah. NOW. but likeeeee you werent so ??? hehe ^_^' and its frustrating!! eugh
November 15, 2023
hooks up my external hard drive and my computer starts purring awwww
November 14, 2023
in the css like. fuck whats a website supposed to look like again
November 13, 2023
i got back into a small naruto discord server (like <200 people) after like a whole year and a half of not being active. if you know me you know i'm in, like, six servers max and am sort of active in only one so this is huge for me... a few people even remembered me :)
November 10, 2023
everything is just abt done. minus a few pages and stuff i gotta draw but thats ok! surely this won't take much longer <- clueless
November 9, 2023
found another body mod community i really enjoy. the more unique/extreme body modification are so fucking cool but i can't do any of it. way too expensive or hard to get a hold of or completely inaccessible for people who are disabled and stuff. wishing up a world where i can get some scarification on my chest (it would look so cool with my top scars ughhhhh) and a split tongue and transdermal implants... but alas, i've already come to terms that it's not in the cards for me. maybe in the next life!
November 8, 2023
we're still not public here yet but thats okay i'm just too busy rewatching early naruto to webmaster properly. giggles
November 7, 2023
okay so i'm finally working on this page with the new design... i archived all my old things from here but until i figure out a good way to hold them all on this page without it ending up a mile long they're just gone atm.
August 21, 2023
it hit 93 degrees today haha the heat is miserable
August 17, 2023
my cane handle broke off a few days ago and since it's not threaded i can't do much;; i tried a glue job but that didn't work at all so i've kindof just been. unable to leave my house or if i do i can't get out of the car sigh
August 9, 2023
WOOO GUTTING THINGS!!! <- specifically talking about this dvd player atm. later though? who knows...
August 8, 2023
(pikmin voice) pikmin
August 4, 2023
genuinely so so fucking badly need a. nbc hannibal weirdo for a friend. i dont care anymore i dont need art friends and i dont need horror friends. i just need SOMEONE to be insane about it with. am i too late. am i really stuck with only my mom and the one lame-ass will graham kinnie mutual.
August 3, 2023
ayeeee tpof still preddy good
August 2, 2023
took a nap on my couch today oh my god i missed naps
July 31, 2023 I LOVE MY YELLOW PIKMAN!!!!! HE LOVES SWIMMBING!! :DD
July 30, 2023 - life is beautiful... <- started watching another sam & max playthrough
July 29, 2023 - it looks like fresh poop but its black tar heroin
July 27, 2023 - found a shocking amount (over 3, i mean) of shintaro kago oneshots that i both haven't read and did not have saved before? yoinked em and now i gotta package em into pdfs and finally figure out what to. do with all of these pfff
July 25, 2023 - aw what about slenderman gimme 20 dollars come on dude you used to love slenderman gimme 20 dollars
July 21, 2023 - need someone to stab my abdomen and dig wrist deep through my guts until they can grab me by my spinal cord and shake it. in a horny way or a fatal way i don't even care at this point
July 16, 2023 - i got piercings and then took em out like two days later because my dog kept jumping up on me and snagging his claws on em :/ thats okay tho i'll just re-pierce em some other time, i still have a bunch of 14g piercing needles so no harm no foul
July 12, 2023 - got a tooth pulled today ermmm yowch
July 10, 2023 - my friend is headed to west virginia for a couple weeks and then somewhere else after and im happy for them i really am i hope he has so much fun but also like. the idea that i can't really message spam him or call or hang out and watch shows together while they're gone because they deserve to have fun on their own without me in the middle of it trying to chat makes me feel so very uncle grandpa gun in mouth drawing. i'll make it up to him when he's finally free by being so so annoying and mentally sitting in their lap and giggling and holding their hand
July 9, 2023 i need to buy melatonin
July 8, 2023 ohhh my god i spent so long on video game stuff. if i was even 2% less normal and an adult during the height of 2016, i know of one specific undertale au community i would have been one of the most annoying fuckers in. but genuinely, i learned so so much i actually have a pretty good sim game rn with interactables and a health bar. yay yaaay yay
July 3, 2023 i am such a 'i hope jakey dies' guy but. i think this is the first time i've actually really liked a guy a friend talks about. he sounds sweet and i'm actually happy for them... they deserve the best. two ceiling fans will have to fall on a couple to make up for this :)
July 2, 2023 phlebotomy supplies suck. why do i need to drop so much money just to quote-unquote "safely" and "properly" remove my own blood. its literally mine
June 28, 2023
you ever just discover or realize something about yourself and you just have to sit down like. oh well thats just great. now i have to just deal with this. god damnit
June 25, 2023
brian griffin voice woah ass ahoy
June 24, 2023
artfight this year is vampires vs werewolves? kindof a lame theme tbh but atleast choosing one is easy. vampires are hot and goth and yeah sure they look amazing covered in blood but like. closes eyes. large hairy guyin a dog muzzle baring his teeth wildly with drool pouring down his chin breathing erratically just barely held back from breaking through the muzzle and tearing your throat out. uhm. yeah. twirls my hair
June 23, 2023
i have yet to actually make the game list pages but i went through 314 pages of adult games last night and came out with about 20 or so more furry, BL, and bara games. i have no clue how i'll even layout those pages lmaooo i dont really wanna do like. reviews or whatever thats boring
June 22, 2023
literally dying today i'm so so sore but i'm watching some animal breakdown/processing videos again... i've been really into masaru's content but i also can't handle looking at most fish so i have to block half of my screen while i watch him cut other stuff. cursed by god to be both an ichthyophobe and a masaru fan
June 20, 2023
reminder to read pinky and pepper forever if you havent already. lifechanging
June 19, 2023
(sniffs) (glances around) (points at the bear trap by our feet) you gonna eat that?
June 18, 2023
kinda weird playing sims 4 base game. haven't touched sims 4 in ages but even then it was like. absolutely modded with murder mods and wicked whims and cc... i remember when my former roommate lived with us they plugged their laptop to the living room tv and i watched them make a trap house spending like 20 minutes just arranging cigarette butts and empty bottles everywhere
June 17, 2023
I NEED MORE INNER THIGH HAIR I *NEED* MORE NOW (slams myself into a wall)
June 16, 2023
started rewatching Hannibal with a friend who's experiencing it the first time... i'm so lucky to have a friend who, like, gets it exactly the way i do and is a freak in a way that mirrors the way *i'm* a freak... in the discord call and he hits me with the 'i, too, want to be impaled on antlers and displayed like a shitty sculpture... uh i MEAN. WHO SAID THAT- >_>' yeah no yeah absolutely i get it. we should kiss
June 14, 2023 -
i made this page woooo its not. posted yet at the time of me writing this but you will see this eventually. so.